Hospital Bags- Imagination vs Reality

We've all been there. Rapidly approaching our due date, reading blog after blog after blog based on the search results from Pinterest on what we need in our hospital bag to further prep for baby, make us feel as comfortable as possible and overall enhance our experience for our stay at the hospital.


It seems that each post I read told me all these things I would need...

• A Boppy Pillow- So my arms don't get tired, or guests could be more comfortable while holding him- uh hello? My arms will forever be tired from the moment of birth on, and as for my guests, this is not  the time to be the hostess with the mostess. We use our Boppy at home, but didn't need it in the hospital. I had my husband keep it in the car in case we needed it.
• Socks- Well, I was either in flip flops or my Ugg slippers with the rubber soles so socks just took up space in my bag. Good thing they're small :)
• Extra outfits for the baby- Ok, granted we didn't know what size he would be, you really don't need  extra outfits for him. While he's in the hospital, he can only wear their hospital issued shirt, and well, he can wear it going home too. I brought a 3-6 month and a newborn outfit along with a "going home kit" from a friend. Our 9 pounder came home in the three to six outfit and the going home kit is still in its box...
• A going home outfit for myself- So I'm sure by this point, you know you won't be jumping right back into those pre pregnancy clothes, (good for you if you do!) but you'll also be quite a bit smaller than you were when you walked in. It can be tough to decide what you need to go home in. I packed a black cotton maternity dress... but went home in the nightgown and robe I packed.
• My tablet- Yeah ok, let me just whip out my tablet real quick while I'm preparing to push a human out of my hoo-ha. And no, dad didn't use it either. We watched mindless TV shows and had some family members stop by. Just one more thing to take up space in the bag.
• An extra nightgown- you'll be there for more than one night, so you'll need more than one- wrong! I don't need to change my nightgown every day. If you do end up staining one you can always go back to the sexy hospital issued gowns
• Nipple cream- I didn't need this because I ended up pumping and started while I was in the hospital. I can't say for sure if breastfeeding had worked if I would need nipple cream for my short stay in the hospital.
• Powder and, conditioner - nope and nope.
• A Nursing Bra- I did not put a bra on the whole time I was in the hospital. Between people attaching my new son to each of my breasts and checking my body during recovery, it would have been off more than on anyway.
• A distraction or focal point- the only thing I was focusing on during contractions and while I was pushing, was the fact that I was going to have a baby come hell or high water by the end of this day.

The list goes on and on really.

Remember, the hospital will provide you with everything you need while you're there. The rest is just personal preference. Here are some of the things that the hospital gave us while we were there:

•  Clothes for the baby- (duh!) the awesome crossover snap shirt and hat are standard issued hospital clothes for baby. He/She must stay in those clothes until discharged from the hospital. Try to snag a few extra if you can. They came in handy during the first few nights home!
• Blankets, diapers, and wipes- Not only does the hospital provide everything you'll need at the hospital, but also everything baby will need. No point in packing your own of any of these things. They'll take up space in your bag and when you head home with the extra diapers, wipes, clothes and more- you'll be happy you don't have what you brought.
• Pacifier- The hospital will ask you ahead of time if you want baby to use a pacifier or not. They provide a few for you if you're ok with baby having one. Some people are worried about nipple confusion, and you can read more about that here. We were happy to let our little man have a pacifier, and so are many others. Check out this article for more information.
• Mesh underwear- Maybe you've heard of it? It's thin, and well- you guessed it- mesh. It covers you like the granny panties you've probably been wearing for some time now. Some people complain about it and prefer to bring their own. I was content in them and if things get a little messy you're tossing them anyway! The hospital sent me home with extra everything. Mesh undies included.
• Ice pack pads- Those giant pads in the picture above on the far right work like the ice packs you used to see in gym class. Pop, shake and wear. The nurse at the hospital told me they wouldn't really absorb much so not to be alarmed if I seemed like I soaked through them quickly. Truth be told, I only wore one from the delivery room to the recovery room. Once I got to the recovery room the nurses there provided me with diaper ice packs
• Diaper ice packs- You may or may not have read in other blogs about the miracle padsicle- the pad soaked in witch hazel and aloe that you can freeze and use at home to sooth you. These are the same general idea. The nurse cuts a diaper in half, puts ice inside the center and rolls the edge closed. So. Much. Comfort! Don't hesitate to ask for more!
• Witch hazel pads and cortisone cream- both were well welcomed for me. Like most women, I put the cream right on the pad itself instead of trying to aim for the right area on my body. and the witch hazel not only cleans, but provides relief as well. Keep it in the fridge for added relief.

So what DID I pack (and find useful)?

       A. A large bag that zips to put everything in. I used a large black Coach bag similar to this

       B. A nightgown and robe set- Right after delivery I was escorted to the shower and put back into a hospital gown. My body had just gone thru the craziest experience and had what felt like a million people observing every inch of me. The following morning, I got up, showered put my makeup on and put this robe and nightgown on. I felt like I could conquer the world. Hello, I just pushed a nine pound human out of my body and felt stronger than ever. Add some makeup and a nightgown with color, outward expression of an inward emotion :) I opted for short because people were checking my body pretty regularly. also I had spaghetti straps so I could slide a side down to nurse/pump. This is close to what I wore. I don't think they still make the exact one I wore.

      C. A nursing cover-  I did not bring this, but really should have. I was unable to breastfeed so I chose to pump. With people coming in and out constantly I didn't feel good when I was pumping and my breasts were exposed to the world with giant clear suction cups on them. I would suggest bringing one with you, just in case. you never know what is going to happen. and most of you have received the coupons to "just pay shipping" for one. I got mine here the one pictured is "Sloane"

      D. A smaller bag for all bathroom needs, makeup, toiletries etc. I used an old one I had, similar to this and found the size worked well for everything I needed

     E. Toiletries and make up- I packed

• my regular daily makeup (bronzer, blush, eyeshadow, mascara, undereye concealer,)
• chapstick (my lips got super dry while pushing)
• lotion ( I used it, but could have done without it)
• shampoo ( I skipped conditioner)
• body wash
• deodorant
• q tips
• hair elastics ( I probably only used one the whole time I was there, but with my luck it would have broken had I not packed more)
• toothpaste
• NEW toothbrush (for my husband and I) we tossed them when we got home

      F. Water bottle with straw- This is another thing the hospital provides you with during your stay, but I enjoyed having my own. During labor I wasn't chugging water or chomping on ice chips, but in between pushes I would take a little sip to wet my whistle a little.

      G. Personal misting fan- I don't know about you, but I was wicked hot during my entire pregnancy. A combination of hormones, and Florida heat (that I still wasn't used to after living here for 18 months) had me putting rooms as cold as I could and the hospital room was no exception. My poor husband was so cold he had my brother bring him a sweatshirt. So again, in between contractions it was AMAZING to have this. The best ten dollars I ever spent at Walmart!

     H. Phone and charger- Obviously, but things get crazy and you forget things. I put my spare charger in the bag ahead of time so I wouldn't forget 

     I. Granny Panties- That's right, the giant kind- the kind that had you been wearing regularly before, probably wouldn't have gotten you pregnant in the first place. I could take or leave this on my list. Again, I was content in the awesome mesh version provided by the hospital.

     J. Footwear- Slippers, flip flops, anything. Honestly? I got up and ran to the bathroom a few times barefoot... GROSS. Don't do it! It doesn't matter how homey the rooms are at your hospital, you're still in a hospital and all those people that are checking on you are not changing their shoes before they walk into your room

      K. Baby's going home outfit- Optional yes, but how could I not want to bring that handsome man home in something adorable?!?

Some things not pictured that I would still recommend:

• Carseat-you cant take baby home without it. Don't forget to make sure its properly installed. You can go to local places to have them check or do it for you. Go here to look up where locally you can go.
• Clothes for partner- My husband packed flip flops, some boxers, 2 t-shirts and some sleep shorts, and that's about it. Low maintenance- we shared most of the toiletries.
• MINTS- The poor nurse that held onto me during my epidural! I still feel like I should send an apology to her. Whatever, it happens. your mouth gets dry, you've got nerves, and despite brushing your teeth prior to labor, you'll need them.
• Food- I packed a couple protein bars that I would have found useful during my stay had my family not brought me a pizza after birth. we missed dinner by the time we got to recovery and I ended up snacking on the pizza the rest of my stay (who serves fish in a hospital eck)

I know it sounds like a lot to bring, but really I didn't bring a lot. With the exception of what I mentioned above, look at the picture. Really, not a whole lot.

They say when you have a baby your maternal instinct kicks in. That someway, somehow you'll "just know" how to keep a tiny human alive...

Eat... sleep... poop... repeat, right? NOPE!

My husband and I went to birthing classes. While I found them terrifying, my husband found them helpful and educational. Sure, they taught me how to breath (which I've been doing on my own for 31 years now thank you) they forced me to watch a woman give birth on all fours like a barn animal, they told us what to pack in my hospital bag (check here for what I actually used) and what tests would be done on our little bundles of joy right after birth.

What they didn't tell us, is how to do literally everything else.

Maybe I'm lucky, but my labor and delivery was easy. Painful, but bearable. Doctors, nurses and loved ones surrounded me throughout the entire process and thank God, no complications. The time in the hospital was great! After many failed attempts to swaddle our six hour old baby I made my way to the front desk and pathetically asked for "those wonderful diaper ice packs for me and for someone to please, for the love of God, show us how to swaddle him" they smiled and a wonderful, grandmotherly Russian nurse appeared with the glorious ice packs for me and showed us how to swaddled him. (Though I'm pretty sure she did it one handed, and tossed him around like a football after) How do they do that so easily?!?

When we brought him to sleep in the nursery on night two and said we'd pick him up around 3:00 am and I ended up doing the walk of shame to pick him up at 7:30 am  announcing we were the worst parents ever for leaving him that long, they chuckled, told us to enjoy it and brought him back to us.

Once we got home however, it was a different story. We still had support, but were determined to do as much of the care taking as possible on our own. Night one- we swaddled him as best we could, we fed him the "30 mls" we were told not to exceed (of breast milk and formula- more on that later) and we laid him on his back in a little bassinet next to our bed. We both had big plans of showers and getting ready for bed. Our little man had very different plans for us. He wouldn't stay swaddled, he screamed unless we were holding him and only wanted to sleep on his stomach on our chests.

Amazing how quickly one tiny human can flip your world and dictate your every move, isn't it?

My husband took the midnight to 4 am shift and I took the 4 am on shift. The boys had an enjoyable night of Star Wars cartoons and snuggles before I was woken up for my shift which consisted of mindless television and kisses on the top of his perfect little noggin.

In retrospect, we should've known that the first few nights would be an adjustment. We should have seen the red flag waving when we struggled(it took three of us)  to dress him in his "Introducing me" going home outfit.

 

Things got easier pretty quickly. We stopped swaddling his arms in and he was much happier, we let him sleep in his swing that left him on his back, but not flat and he started sleeping 4 to 6 hours a night. ( we know, were lucky)

After Google searches and questions to mum, we took it upon ourselves to increase the amount of food he was getting because lets face it- an over nine pound baby on 30 mls of food isn't much.

Here are some things they don't teach you:
1. How to swaddled your baby
2. How to dress him
3. How to give him a bath while his cord is still attached ( don't get that bad boy wet!)
4. How to bath him after his cord falls off (I dare you to try it alone and not get water in his ears!)

5. When to increase his food intake and by how much ( at week three, Reagan is at 6 ounces 6 times a day- each baby is different!)

6. He may develop a little rash in the early stages of life, they look like little pimples. They go away on their own and you're not a terrible parent that you didn't notice the second they appeared on his back!

7. Poop! Yes, look for yellow and seedy... would it have killed them to let us know it resembles diarrhea and may happen often the first few days?

Like any new parent, we're learning as we go. No matter what they didn't teach us, we couldn't be more in love and van happier to have him in our lives. Its already hard to imagine our lives without him.

What are some things you wish you were prepared for before bringing your tiny human home?

I'm sitting here on the night of my sons three week mark wearing tear stained pajamas that I've officially been in for over 24 hours. My hair is in a nest on the top of my head, and I have no makeup on. Across from me, sits my husband of almost five years rocking our three week old son. A year ago few months ago, a few weeks ago, I didn't know that this would be the happiest I would ever be in my entire life.

Today may be a little different than most days for me. Typically, I get up, get dressed for the day and function as a mildly sleep deprived new mum. Today though, my sweet baby boy cried for an hour straight. Extremely unlike him, but it happened as I was waking up. I laid down on my already made bed with this perfect little boy on my chest like a tree frog and there, he finally fell asleep. Too afraid to move, I scrolled through Facebook and texted my mother until hours passed and my phone battery was fading.

My mother showed up. Her, my mother in law and I sat at the dining room table of my new home and chatted. Don't ask me what about, because I spent most of that time staring out the window while they spoke. I did hear my mother console me, saying things like she understood how it hurts a mother when they can't make their baby stop screaming. In that moment I teared up a little. Sometime after that, I stood up, grabbed my keys and said I was going to get us all a coffee.

It wasn't until I was half way to Starbucks did I realize that I had no makeup on and the same clothes I went to bed in the night before. I called my husband at work to fill him in on the details of the morning, but instead shared a monologue on his voicemail about nothing in particular and how I had no idea how it got so late in the day. Standing in the endless line at Starbucks in a location convenient for locals and beach going tourists I became acutely aware of my appearance. Perhaps because of the 20 something year olds in line in front of me. Seeming to have not one care in the world, totally rocking the bikinis and sheer cover ups and while we were sporting the same hair style, theirs was clearly intentional and mine was simply left over. I wondered if people could tell I was a new mum, if they knew that under all these stretchy clothes was the body of a 30 something year old that had just been through the craziest whirlwind of an almost year leaving me with a tiny human to keep alive and (what feels like) a giant empty space in my tummy.

I wondered if the mother with two small children that held the door for me with a sympathetic look knew what my morning consisted of. If perhaps there was some sort of mother spidey sense that she picked up on.

That night, we sat in front of the TV watching a sitcom that required little to no thinking and my tree frog son was yet again asleep on my chest. As I stroked his back tears fell down my cheeks, and on to his (not so little) head and I found my mind wondering to the future. A not so distant future of a day that he would be too big to fit perfectly on my chest while he slept; a day that he wouldn't want to snuggle up on me for hours. Sure, I know he's supposed to grow and develop and he won't remember these days, but I will. I will forever remember the feeling of this 10 pound, 13 ounce three week old resting on me and how I've never felt so complete. Funny how that happens, isn't it? He'll go on with his life without missing that and I'll look at his sweet face and wish I could go back to these moments.